Return of the Mary Sue
by Error 404-chan
Summary: One-shot. Response to Koryu-Sanzo's Anti-Mary Sue fic challenge. Rating for safety, and for evilness from Mary Sue.


Hello everyone! This is just a short fic I'm writing to get my brain working again...it's the response to Koryu-Sanzo's anti-Mary Sue fic challenge. Hope you like it!

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"Aiiiiiyaaaa!" she girl shieked as she chopped a youkai through he middle. She hopped up in the air and brought her sword down through a youkai's head, wiping him out. She then started a special move (hereby called the Top, for lack of creativity and ability to make up names....) and spun around in a circle on one leg (kinda like some ice skaters...okay I'm done now), and slashed through the youkai swarming around her. A few seconds later gunshots were heard and a couple of youkai around her turned to dust. Stabbing through the last one that thought to come from behind, she turned and looked for the source of the gunshots. Spotting a Jeep (yes, it _is_ supposed to be capitalized) she ran over. "Thank you! You saved me!" Not that they really had. She was perfectly capable of handling them on her own. After all, she _is _a Mary Sue. Second highest ranked, to be precise.

"And who might you be?" Gojyo asked, getting ready to go in for the kill. You all know what I mean, I'm sure.

She bowed deeply. "My name, is Miraisuu."

"So nice to meet you, Miraisuu-chan..." he said, in his sweetest voice. "That is **such** a nice name."

_What an idiot.._ she thought. _But if I want that crown I'm gonna have to be nice..._ "So what are you boys doing out here in the desert?" she asked, in a voice so sugary sweet it could make a junk food addict sick.

"I was about to ask the same about you, miss." Hakkai said, flashing his usual smile at her.

"Oh, I was just looking for the next town...I came from that town back there..." she pointed to the east, "And I need to go over to the next town to the west...I have a terrible sense of direction, though, so I got lost..." No wonder she never had any trouble earning her "Lying Badge" in Mary Sue Scouts. She was a natural lier. Now let's see if they take the bait...

"If you need some assistance we'd be glad to drive you to the next town, miss." Hakkai offered.

_They bought it! _"Oh, why thank you soo much.."

"Hakkai."

"..Hakkai"

He finished introducing them. "And these are Gojyo, Goku, and Sanzo."

"Once again, it's nice to meet you." she said, her voice oozing with sweetness. _Sanzo, eh? He might just be the one I need to get that crown. I will be queen, especially if I can get him...!_

"You can sit in between Goku and Gojyo until we get to the next town, Miraisuu-san. I'm sure there's room"

"Oh, thank you." She sat down. Gojyo scooted over to her.

"Hey, when we get to the next town, you want to go out to dinner or something? My treat of course...." he said, making his first move.

_Ugh, like I'd go anywhere with **him**..._ "Oh, I'm sorry, I don't think I can..."

"Oh, that's too bad.." _And she was so hot too..._

Most of the drive was spent in silence, as Hakkai, well, drove, Sanzo read his newspaper that magically appeared at times like this, Goku stared out into space, only interrupting with the occasional 'Harahetta', and Gojyo was stealing looks at Miraisuu when she wasn't looking, plotting on how to get her to go out with him.

Unknown to all, she was also plotting. Plotting how to get Sanzo to be her lover so she could become queen. Once she was queen she'd finally get a real name! She was tired or all these Mary Sue based names. First is was Marisu, the most basic, then it was Murisua, one of her more creative ones, and then one name led to another, and she ended up with her thirtieth name, Miraisuu. Thirty names! And that was just in the past year.

About halfway through the drive she attempted conversation. "So what _are_ you doing out here?"_ Mental note: Voice too oily. Eat more sugar._ _No more transmission fluid._ Yes, this was the secret of the Mary Sue's. Your voice is what you eat. (That was stupid, I know....)

"We're going to the west to g---" Goku started, but was stopped by Sanzo bringing his fan down on Goku's skull. "Ouch! What was that for."

"Idiot! Don't go telling our life to story to anyone!"

_Hmm...he looks like the hard-to-get type...this is going to be fun! _she thought.

They spent the rest of the ride in silence, while Miraisuu comtemplated what to do next.

_Let's see...obviously he won't be as easy as the redhead. But the easier they are, the less credit you recieve. So if he's going to play hard-to-get, all the better for me. Now I just need to figure out a plan...._

When they reached the town Miraisuu hopped out of the Jeep, and bowed deeply, flashing them her cutest smile. "Thank you so much! Um..I have an idea! A friend of mine owns the inn here (well, actually he didn't, but she could take care of that..), and maybe I could get you some free rooms and a free meal!"

"That would be wonderful, thank you." Hakkai said, accepting her offer.

"Great. I'll show you where it is!" she said. Using her Mary Sue senses, she led them to the town's inn. "I'll just go talk to him." She found the owner's office and walking inside. Minutes later she walked out, being followed by a scared looking man.

"R-right this way.." he told them, and led the five (including Miraisuu) down the hall. When they had all gotten settled in separate rooms, the owner led them down to the kitchen, and told the cooks to give them whatever they wanted. Then he ran away screaming.

"Nervous fellow, isn't he?" Hakkai commented.

"Yes" she agreed. "He was in an accident and hasn't quite been the same since then..."

"Ah."

Over dinner, Miraisuu kept trying to get Sanzo to contribute to the conversation, but of course, since this is a Mary Sue bashing fic, she failed miserably. When she stood up, she stretched so that her tight clothes showed off her body. Even Sanzo got a slight nosebleed from that. _Good.._ She thought evilly.

Unfortunately, that meant nothing, and she ended up making no progress in her mission that night. They were leaving the next morning. What was she going to do? Time for the last resort. The next morning as the were about to leave, she walked into Sanzo's room, paying no attention when he pointed his gun at her. She walked up to his bed and put on her best puppy eyes as she stared up at him. "Sanzo-san..will you please go out with me?"

She waited in anticipation for the answer.

"No."

Then a bolt of lightning struck Miraisuu and she turned to dust.

THE END

Bet I'm gonna get known for my anti-climactic (is that spelled right) endings. Please review!


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